So yesterday I scampered off to Alan Carr's Easyway clinic. A 6 hour talk on the evils of smoking and its industry, complete with smoke breaks. I learnt and accepted the fact that I have a Nicotine Monster living inside me that needs to die.
A few weeks ago I imagined myself walking out of the clinic evangelically shrieking: I’m saved, saved!’ No such luck for me. I walked out of there stunned that I’d just left behind an almost brand new box of smokes, complete with feeling of horror at the idea that I’d just smoked my last cigarette… of my life.
Alone & in silence, The Last Cigarette was smoked, to which we had to add a personal vow to never touch fags, the smoking kind, again. The bitter sweetness of the situations was not lost on me, and I kept thinking: ‘Thank heavens I don’t believe in hell’.
I admit to drinking some wine and taking 2 Urbanol’s to try & get me through last night.I’m not out of the dark tunnel yet, I realize.
To keep me feeling excited about my decision I have had to remind myself:
No cigarettes = fortunes saved = purchase of a new zoom & wide angle lens for me camera.
Another vow to myself and I’m hoping this is the one I can keep, but as the work day creeps to an end so does the Monster's hunger creep in. You see I was always more of an evening smoker.
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